2013 PAD

Maggie did this last April. Sara did it ten times over in 2011. And I think Maggie did it before then. Did what, is April’s Poetry Month Poem-a-Day (PAD) challenge. Both Maggie and Sara have done it both with the Writers’ Digest prompt, as well as with several other coordinated challenges sponsored elsewhere on the Web. I’ve never before sustained that pace for that long, and I don’t know that I can respond well to prompt. But whereas some mourn with silence, I need my howl to come out, if only in words I can look back on hating myself for.

So picking up midstream, I’m adding my voice to this year’s Writers’ Digest Poetic Asides PAD Challenge

  • How Not To Write a Sestina

    [‘7-Tina’ • April 8, 2013 at 10:30 pm • PAD Day 8: instructions] — in Sara’s memory, using the methodology she created for her essay

  • Hunt Me Down

    [Triolet Redoublé • April 9, 2013 at 1:11 pm • PAD Day 9: hunter/hunted] — remembering Sara, again through a form she mastered

  • Find Me, Find Me

    [Nonce • April 9, 2013 at 3:10 pm • PAD Day 9: hunter/hunted] — for Baby Zoë

  • [Search everywhere around, below, above]

    [Limerick • April 9, 2013 at 4:45 pm • PAD Day 9: hunter/hunted] — a nod in the direction of Sara’s friend, A, using his favorite form

  • [This one won’t heal]

    [Open Form • April 10, 2013 at 5:17 am • PAD Day 10: suffering] — mourning

  • [She’s not here]

    [Ovillejo • April 10, 2013 at 12:48 pm • PAD Day 10: suffering] — in another of Sara’s favorite forms

  • [This one will not leave]

    [Open Form • April 10, 2013 at 5:41 am • PAD Day 10: suffering] — more tears

  • [The kinder he is]

    [Limerick • April 10, 2013 at 12:52 pm • PAD Day 10: suffering] — of the muse and the poet

  • Hell

    [Open Form • April 10, 2013 at 6:45 am • PAD Day 10: suffering] — just sayin’

  • Live, Little One, Live

    [Nonce • April 10, 2013 at 11:57 am • PAD Day 10: suffering] — for Iggy

  • Reserved: Ultimate Suffering

    [Open Form • April 10, 2013 at 1:29 pm • PAD Day 10: suffering] — not something to joke about

  • In Case of Banana

    [Nonce • April 11, 2013 at 2:29 pm • PAD Day 11: “In Case of”] — for Zoë & Iggy (a few years from now)

  • In Case of Removal

    [Nonce • April 11, 2013 at 3:55 pm • PAD Day 11: “In Case of”] — following Robert’s advice, missing ones Maggie and Sara lost to previous PAD crashes

  • In Case of Capture

    [Ghazal • April 11, 2013 at 4:15 pm • PAD Day 11: “In Case of”] — for A

  • Pathological

    [Villanelle • April 12, 2013 at 9:01 am • PAD Day 12: break] — as is my way

  • Fool’s Golden Rule

    [Nonce • April 12, 2013 at 1:53 pm • PAD Day 12: break] — we are each of us our own hypocrite

  • A Fractured Piece

    [Nonce • April 12, 2013 at 4:12 pm • PAD Day 12: break] — for Denise

  • [Of countless things I don’t do well]

    [Limerick • April 12, 2013 at 5:34 pm • PAD Day 12: break] — missing the support of our HTML wizard

  • [When one mistrusts the truth]

    [Quatrain • April 13, 2013 at 9:44 am • PAD Day 13: comparison] — absolutely…try it yourself, and you’ll see

  • Say we break for lunch

    [Nonce • April 13, 2013 at 12:51 pm • PAD Day 12: break] — but nothing, what say we just do it

  • Limerick (?): Comparison

    [Limerick • April 13, 2013 at 1:09 pm • PAD Day 13: comparison] — and one could go on and on, were one to neglect to exercise discipline and control of form

  • Coffee, Please

    [Kyrielle • April 13, 2013 at 3:01 pm • PAD Day 13: comparison] — no substitute for what’s meant to be had

  • Presumed, for Better or Worse

    [Quatrain • April 13, 2013 at 4:46 pm • PAD Day 13: comparison] — for R, who always presumed the worst and accepted the least

  • [Let’s at least tape buds]

    [Haiku • April 13, 2013 at 5:36 pm • PAD Day 1: arrival] — if we pretend hard enough, maybe

  • Darkest Dark

    [Open Form • April 13, 2013 at 7:11 pm • PAD Day 2: bright/dark] — even blindness would not be so dark

  • Something to Consider

    [Nonce • April 13, 2013 at 11:30 pm • PAD Day 3: tentative] — one alternative

  • Redemption at Home Depot

    [Petrarchan Sonnet • April 14, 2013 at 3:43 pm • PAD Day 14: sonnet] — merely a flesh wound

⠀⠀⠀
For unknown reasons, Redemption at Home Depot currently remains under moderation at the Poetic Asides website. The poem is as follows—
⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀
Redemption at Home Depot
⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“And if thy right hand offend thee,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀cut it off, and cast it from thee:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀for it is profitable for thee that
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀one of thy members should perish,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀and not that thy whole body should be
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀cast into hell.”—Matthew 5:30
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀”A man calmly walked into a Home Depot
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀in Southern California and proceeded
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀to attempt to saw through his arms
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀before being stopped by a local firefighter.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀—International Business Times 4/11/2013
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My right hand’s clueless what my left one does,
yet somehow both still manage to offend
in ways I’d not intended to intend
to manually violate our laws.
I’m not worth the forgiving. Once I was
more useful. There was once one could depend
on using both my arms to noble end.
Now here I’m in Home Depot eyeing saws.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You’d think even in hell you’d want hands, but
apparently what’s unneeded only harms
more just by being there. So I know what…
Step back… And if you will, please, no alarms—
My only chance at managing the cut
will be if I can hack off both my arms.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

And having accomplished what I came to PAD for, those to whom it matters know where to find the rest of this. Yes, I will complete it. I didn’t think I could, but the words are there, just as clearly as Sara still is, for those who do love and know her. The howl is gone. The words I wanted to hear won’t quit on me.⠀—Cyn

  • Hold That One Back

    [Pantoum • April 15, 2013 at 1:55 am • PAD Day 4: “Hold That”] — and the rest, likely, my relief and peace having come

  • Azazel

    [Spenserian Sonnet • April 15, 2013 at 3:10 am • PAD Day 14: sonnet] — complete atonement, permanently

  • Maggot Therapy

    [Open Form • April 15, 2013 at 7:30 am • PAD Day 15: infestation] — works much better than you think

  • Mommy Plus Daddy Plus Me

    [Nonce • April 15, 2013 at 8:12 am • PAD Day 5: plus] — for Zoë and Iggy

  • Two Sevenlings (Holy of Holies)

    [Sevenling • April 15, 2013 at 9:38 am • PAD Day 7: sevenling] — my inner sanctum

  • [There was an old man who ingested]

    [Limerick • April 15, 2013 at 10:41 am • PAD Day 15: infestation] — beyond hope of extermination

  • Postpartum Blues

    [Sestina • April 15, 2013 at 12:49 pm • PAD Day 6: post] — for M

  • Rasberry Crazy Ants

    [Nonce • April 15, 2013 at 3:43 pm • PAD Day 15: infestation] — for A, not only because he first pointed the pests out to me, but also since he’ll have a unique appreciation for its crazy metaphors on this particularly insane day

  • Gravel Pit

    [Sonnet • April 15, 2013 at 8:05 pm • PAD Day 14: sonnet] — when we say death matters, when it’s not supposed to

  • [A poet once muzzled was then heard]

    [Limerick • April 16, 2013 at 1:21 am • PAD Day 6: post] — on arbitrary censorship at Poetic Asides

  • Iggy’s Aubade

    [Open Form • April 16, 2013 at 7:42 am • PAD Day 1: arrival] — waking to dreams of Sara’s

  • Impossible to Justify

    [Open Form • April 16, 2013 at 9:05 am • PAD Day 16: possible/impossible] — “An act of cowardice cannot be justified.”—Boston District Attorney

  • Impossible to Excuse

    [Open Form • April 16, 2013 at 2:01 pm • PAD Day 16: possible/impossible] — ain’t no excuse for a choice made to think, wish, say or do ill for one or against another

  • Impossible to Accept

    [Open Form • April 16, 2013 at 6:33 pm • PAD Day 16: possible/impossible] — as was and wasn’t in Copley Square

  • Ukko’s Word

    [Terzanelle • April 17, 2013 at 8:19 am • PAD Day 17: express] — for A

  • I Am Baby

    [Nonce • April 18, 2013 at 8:16 am • PAD Day 18: “I am”] — a song for Zoë and Iggy

  • Hunt & Peck

    [Pantoum • April 18, 2013 at 10:09 am • PAD Day 9: hunter/hunted] — whatever gets it done

  • Squirmy Worms

    [Nonce • April 18, 2013 at 4:05 pm • PAD Day 15: infestation] — squishy, squishy, Baby Zoë

  • Patriot’s Day Possibly

    [Ottava Rima • April 19, 2013 at 8:24 am • PAD Day 16: possible/impossible] — of near misses & close calls

  • Black Eschar

    [Blank Verse • April 19, 2013 at 10:51 am • PAD Day 19: burn] — beyond all healing

  • [An Internet flame victim turned up]

    [Limerick • April 19, 2013 at 12:25 pm • PAD Day 19: burn] — napalm next time, we’ll try

  • Manhunted

    [Pantoum • April 19, 2013 at 3:14 pm • PAD Day 9: hunter/hunted] — on being unwanted

  • Like a Little Girl

    [Triolet Redoublé • April 19, 2013 at 4:49 pm • PAD Day 19: burn] — with a scorched thanks to the crazy world of Arthur Brown

“Shelter in place,” we were to have been doing during the lockdown? What place made for shelter to the homeless, did anyone pause to wonder? To a standstill, did everything seem to freeze, to those glued to their TV sets keeping up to the second on each bit of news babble? What allowances were made for Meals on Wheels and other help to the homebound who’ve not been able to step outside their own front doors for years and were waiting on skipped visitations for the day’s most basic needs to be met? The lowest in human depravity, is that the gut reaction to be expressed by those who never had any faith they supposedly have lost in neighbors they were always suspicious of? Open your eyes and see the avalanche of hugs and smiles and unity, as close as the hand reaching out to you in need, and stop worrying what part of the world your neighborhood stretches out to. Complaining about running out of toilet tissue while the whole town was shut down? Interesting sense of perspective, as contrasted against our friends and family who have lost loved ones, limbs, and so much more, yet are so quick to give to others before taking care of themselves. No, I’m not being judgmental and self-righteous. Of anyone at all in this great city, surely I can’t preach. I’ll leave that to the sterling statements made by all at our interfaith prayer service. Everything, yes, even the reminder by Islamic teaching that anyone who desires the death of another separates himself from all humanity by his own actions, yet that we seek accountability not revenge. But very truly everything, to how every prayer echoed a common belief in us that cannot be destroyed by malice. For now, I’m going to grab a quick nap. Even before the lockdown was lifted, Denise and I were out helping those who needed help dealing with the tense situation we all faced here. Then last night after the law enforcement part of it was resolved, we worked through the night to directly assist recovery for some of those who did really suffer from the lockdown. I’ll come back to writing in a few days, maybe. For now, there’s still way too much that needs being done. — Cyn 4/20/2013 1:16 pm

  • Beyond Boylston

    [Nonce • April 21, 2013 at 7:16 am • PAD Day 20: beyond] — Boston Strong, as ever

  • [One diversity]

    [Senryū • April 21, 2013 at 7:43 am • PAD Day 21: senryū] — for anyone who truly wishes to understand us

  • [Morning’s skin sizzling]

    [Haiku • April 21, 2013 at 4:37 pm • PAD Day 19: burn] — white heat

  • Beyond the Ache of Mourning

    [Ovillejo • April 21, 2013 at 9:49 pm • PAD Day 20: beyond] — a new one

  • [See as I have seen]

    [Senryū • April 22, 2013 at 12:17 am • PAD Day 21: senryū] — memory to vision to dream to…

Back south, this time the both of us, maybe to stay. This past week will’ve made so fitting a farewell. This coming one’ll make even more so a homecoming. —C with D

  • Metaphor

    [Open Form • April 22, 2013 at 3:12 pm • PAD Day 22: complex] — really quite simple to any not blind to revelation

  • Classic Inferiority Complex Number

    [’14-tina’ • April 23, 2013 at 1:33 am • PAD Day 22: complex] — fields of inevitable failure

  • Sum Total Of

    [Nonce • April 23, 2013 at 3:46 am • PAD Day 5: plus] — what’s the square root of an imaginary redundancy?

  • Of “Random” Acts of Kindness and Systemic (No Quotes Necessary) Responses of Unkindness

    [Caudate Sonnet • April 23, 2013 at 8:28 am • PAD Day 23: love/anti-love] — as love is kind, so too unkindness is anti-love

  • Another’s Aftermath

    [Terza Rima • April 23, 2013 at 10:55 am • PAD Day 20: beyond] — well beyond anything remotely infinite

  • Working a Streak

    [Nonce • April 23, 2013 at 5:23 pm • PAD Day 12: break] — would rather not have to start over from zero

  • [There once lay a juicy hot blonde]

    [Limerick • April 24, 2013 at 6:52 am • PAD Day 20: beyond] — all depends on where one allows one’s out-of-bounds to be set

  • Dreamy Preemie

    [Nonce • April 24, 2013 at 9:32 am • PAD Day 23: love] — a lullaby for Iggy come home

  • Autoerotic Sub

    [Sonnet • April 24, 2013 at 10:43 am • PAD Day 24: auto] — stand-in for the stand-in

  • Button’s Beyond

    [Nonce • April 24, 2013 at 4:29 pm • PAD Day 20: beyond] — for Iggy

  • Fish Moon Auto-da-fé

    [Sestina • April 25, 2013 at 5:28 am • PAD Day 24: auto] — faith, partially eclipsed by penance

  • Everyone Loves Baby

    [Nonce • April 25, 2013 at 7:14 am • PAD Day 25: “Everyone”] — for Zoë

  • Everyone Has One

    [Nonce • April 25, 2013 at 8:42 am • PAD Day 25: “Everyone”] — especially you, Iggy

  • Self-Destruct

    [Curtal Sonnet • April 25, 2013 at 11:14 am • PAD Day 24: auto] — unavoidably automatic once love’s been quit

  • Everyone Knows You

    [Rondeau • April 25, 2013 at 6:27 pm • PAD Day 25: “Everyone”] — everyone, except who you say does

  • Ceridwen Bedded

    [Hunt Rondeau • April 26, 2013 at 7:13 am • PAD Day 26: casting] — the old way

  • [There once was an everyone nowhere]

    [Limerick • April 26, 2013 at 8:26 am • PAD Day 25: “Everyone”] — on crossing the naughty lines

  • Everyone Go Night Night

    [Nonce • April 26, 2013 at 10:09 am • PAD Day 25: “Everyone”] — a lullaby for Iggy

  • Sheila’s Gambit

    [Open Form • April 26, 2013 at 11:52 am • PAD Day 26: casting] — seeing and knowing and letting be

  • The Coat and Cauldron

    [‘9-tina’ • April 26, 2013 at 3:53 pm • PAD Day 26: casting] — for Sara and Maggie

  • Everyone But Me

    [Curtal Sonnet • April 26, 2013 at 6:03 pm • PAD Day 25: “Everyone”] — on my own

  • Bronze Goddess

    [Open Form • April 26, 2013 at 8:59 pm • PAD Day 26: casting] — sculpting metaphor from fire, earth and breath

  • Lilith’s Spell

    [Ottava Rima • April 27, 2013 at 12:56 am • PAD Day 26: casting] — for Denise

  • Zombies’ Casting Call

    [Pantoum • April 27, 2013 at 6:44 am • PAD Day 26: casting] — some roles one doesn’t mind being rejected for

  • Poetry’s Typecasting

    [Petrarchan Sonnet • April 27, 2013 at 7:31 am • PAD Day 26: casting] — arbitrarily censor good word, and all other word allowed goes bad

  • Sara’s Notebooks

    [’11-tina’ • April 27, 2013 at 5:24 pm • PAD Day 27: mechanical] — “Let no man who is not a Mathematician read the elements of my work.” —Leonardo da Vinci

  • Parnassian Prophecy

    [Sonnet Corona • April 28, 2013 at 12:53 pm • PAD Day 26: casting] — for Sara and David

  • Sara’s Syllables

    [Shadorma • April 28, 2013 at 3:08 pm • PAD Day 28: shadorma] — of another of her essays

  • Aggadah

    [Shadorma • April 28, 2013 at 9:21 pm • PAD Day 28: shadorma] — succinctly

  • When One’s Been Sent Off, All Are [Censored]

    [Open Form • April 29, 2013 at 7:21 am • PAD Day 29: derivative] — choose to reject one, and you’ll not find sincere acceptance of any

Interesting prompt for PAD 29 at Poetic Asides. I’m tagging it “derivative”: choose one line from another poem I’ve written and use that as the title to a new poem. I’ve decided to do that for every single line of every single poem I’ve written for PAD 2013. So take the titles of my derivative poems, then exclude those that match lines from the early part of the month, and you’ll have a jigsaw puzzle that when reassembled properly will reveal the full text of all the poems I’ve written since mid-April.

Except of course then I’ll be doing second derivatives: new poems with titles drawn from lines of my first derivative poems. And then third derivatives. And fourth and fifth and further. Reminiscent of Sara’s infinite sestina-esque poem. One big shortcoming for me being that she would be able to envision and hear all of the infinite waves of derivative poems in a single moment, today on PAD Day 29. She would even be able to recite enough along any of the derivative dimensions for any of her true readers to see what she’s seeing and hear all the voices. I can only dream of maybe filling in enough of it over a period of years to call it all April 29 and know it was all meant for today’s breath. Sara, much as we all miss you, your poetry still sings and always will far more than all my countless derivatives.

  • Blindly Lay a Blind Alley

    [Open Form • April 29, 2013 at 4:20 pm • PAD Day 29: derivative] — & luck don’t do no miracles, kid

  • We’ll Make Something Rhyme

    [Nonce • April 29, 2013 at 10:14 pm • PAD Day 29: derivative] — a fun song for Zoë and Iggy

  • Six, Then – Just As Far – Back When – All Done

    [Spenserian Sonnet • April 30, 2013 at 12:06 am • PAD Day 29: derivative] — sharp edges of seizure

  • For the Anyone Who Goes Down Below There:

    [Prose Poem • April 30, 2013 at 5:41 am • PAD Day 29: derivative] — you’ll wish you’d asked for the map

  • Quit

    [Triolet Redoublé • April 30, 2013 at 7:19 am • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — as easy as breathing

  • To Repeat a Don’t-Say-That-Again Word

    [Nonce • April 30, 2013 at 10:59 am • PAD Day 29: derivative] — or need one say less more often?

  • All Done For Now

    [Nonce • April 30, 2013 at 1:40 pm • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — for Zoë

  • Will Be, If I Can Hack Off Both My Arms

    [Blank Verse • April 30, 2013 at 3:12 pm • PAD Day 29: derivative] — some people simply don’t get it unless they try it out for themselves

  • Moonlight Lullaby

    [Nonce • April 30, 2013 at 4:19 pm • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — for Iggy

  • Look What You’ve Done To Me

    [Curtal Sonnet • April 30, 2013 at 5:05 pm • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — “So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day.” —Psalms 61:8

  • Beltaine High

    [Sestina • April 30, 2013 at 8:20 pm • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — our family perfected

  • Líf and Lífþrasir

    [Open Form • May 1, 2013 at 6:09 am • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — in you are all generations bound, from you will all generations rise

  • Split Shift

    [Triolet Redoublé • May 1, 2013 at 7:23 am • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — coming back later for more

  • Amor Fati

    [Ghazal • May 1, 2013 at 9:13 am • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — for David’s love

  • Elegy

    [Infinite Retrograde Cross • May 1, 2013 at 10:22 am • PAD Day 30: finished/unfinished] — to the unending testament of Sara’s life. “For where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.” —Hebrews 9:16

I’ll continue to work on some rough drafts from April that hadn’t yet made it to a completed first draft phase. And as vowed, will do derivatives for all lines written for the challenge, then will work on second derivatives for those derivatives, etcetera. And will always continue to unfold the Elegy. And I have comment about what it’s been like to do this, following in Sara’s footsteps like this. But I’ll close this post here. Dedicating it all to her.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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7 Responses to 2013 PAD

  1. maggie says:

    Don’t OD, girlfriend. You’re writing well through it. Just be careful. What you’re doing to yourself can too easily wreck a person.

    Redemption, perhaps, or permanent loss. I thought your deft use of metaphor in that one to be about the sharpest, most revealing I’ve seen of you. And your command of the form was breath-taking. Just remember, if you do one arm first, you’ll never get around to doing the other.

    I’m almost ready to write again. Watch for me to rejoin you before the week is out.

    L, m

  2. maggie says:

    My heart cries with yours over the senseless violence inflicted on your home and friends and neighbors. You’re absolutely right, that no cause or aim justifies or excuses such ill. It completely astounds me that anyone can even so much as contemplate that another person ought lose their life, their love, their family and friends and work, everything they had and would have had, all to what selfish end? Those who think and do such things do surely inflict their own destruction, but I cry over the senseless hurt they leave in their wake. My deepest thoughts go out to you, to Denise and her friend, to the other victims and their families, and to the whole community that has been so senselessly struck by this.

    • You’re so right, no one has the right to effect or even to hope for the death of another for any reason at all, whether national or religious or personal. To do so is wrong, period. Any who does so for any cause has no cause but his own destruction. He burns of his own spite, malice and hatred. He creates his own hell, forever separated from all humanity, even from those who think like him. Nothing else he does for his own selfish aims will ever succeed.

      Our hearts and our hands reach out to all victims, to all family and to the community. Denise and I have already been actively involved in direct contribution and support and assistance. We invite you to join us, even at the physical distance you presently have. Lockdown doesn’t bring real life to a standstill.

  3. maggie says:

    Caution, dear friend, my soul’s sister. I know you shrug at the sort of rejection, the mocking, the ill will that I had to deal with over my spiritual beliefs. That’s of no force or consequence anyway, not against the power of truth and love. But still please do be careful. It was with good cause that the spirit we share has from the first and always been joined and held in secret, to be known only by those who will believe and who do.

    • Understood. Additional precautions in place. What remains open is no more so than what might easily be seen just by looking at your eyes, for anyone who knows and understands what they’re seeing.

  4. davidelicet says:

    Such a full, deeply moving celebration and tribute! You’ve managed to touch on so many of the forms and voices and influences and loves and legacies and visions and pains and life she still is to us. Extra hugs for all the help you’ve been these past several months.

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